POSSESSIVENESS

                                                           
                                                          POSSESSIVENESS

                  You may find yourself communicating with friends and family less because your partner demands all of your time. Isolation could be a sign of possessiveness and emotional abuse, according to Melinda Smith, who holds a master's degree in psychology, and Jeanne Segal, a psychologist, in the article, “Domestic Violence and Abuse,” on HelpGuide.org. Limiting your contact with others and consuming your time gives a possessive individual the feeling of control.

                      Although many people in relationships delegate the finances to one individual to avoid confusion, if your significant other or spouse is controlling every penny you spend, it could be a sign of possessiveness. According to Smith and Segal, examples of economic or financial abuse include withholding access to a bank account, credit card or cash, restricting the partner to an allowance and withholding basic necessities, such as clothing, food or medication. If you find yourself in this situation, it is important to seek outside help from a professional counselor, friend or family member to ensure your basic needs are met.


                    When a person feels his or her partner is a possession, a pattern of dominance often ensues. Emotionally abusive and possessive individuals need to feel in charge, according to Smith and Segal. This may lead your partner to treat you as his or her property, making decisions without your input, telling you what to do and even treating you as a child to prompt obedience. Name calling, shaming and public insults are strategies to gain more control over a person. Seek assistance from a professional counselor or contact the police or a domestic abuse resource, such as The National Domestic Abuse Hotline.


                     If your partner has insecurities, he may masquerade his love for you with jealous outbursts. As a result, he may expect you to give up your freedom – a clear sign of possessiveness, according to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services' Federal Occupational Health Department. Extreme jealousy is a sign that may indicate the potential for emotional or physical abuse, according to the department. Low self-esteem, a quick temper, a family history of violence and jealous behavior are common predictors of domestic abuse. Seek help from the police, a domestic abuse support group or a professional counselor.

              Possessiveness kills slowly but surely. Initially, spouse or partners will interpret such signs of interferences as overt show of love, but when it becomes a nagging & negative character trait, it is sure to develop cracks in relationship. Whether you are a possessive mother or a wife, you are sure to be on the losing end.

             Any relationship, irrespective of its depth and intensity, calls for freedom and space. Everyone looks forward to those special moments of self calm and joy. So, with possessive ones interfering into the same cracks are bound to appear. If things aren’t brought under control, it is likely to dissociate as well.

               As mentioned previously, possessiveness can also be self consuming. By trying to take charge of any and everything, the possessive person is equally causing disruption in his/hers scheme of things. It is impossible for such a one to breathe freely in peace or to enjoy the joyous bliss of a relationship. After all, his/hers domineering feel of possessiveness is being focused upon more than the sweet nothings of life.