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Sunday, 18 May 2014

EMOTIONAL MATURITY


EMOTIONAL MATURITY


          Emotional maturity means, in essence, controlling your emotions rather than allowing your emotions to control you. That does not mean we should hide or repress our emotions, though we can use muscle relaxation, yoga, guided imagery and other relaxation tools to reduce their intensity. As a cognitive-behavioral therapist, I believe our thoughts, in conjunction with our environment, create our emotions. Fortunately, we can control our thoughts by becoming aware of our negative and inaccurate beliefs and ideas.

           Our brains will believe anything we tell them. If you tell your brain that you are in danger (physically, emotionally or psychologically), it reacts as if you are sliding face first down a mountain. If you replace negative, irrational, self-limiting thoughts with accurate, empowering and more adaptive thoughts, your emotional control will improve dramatically. What does that mean? It means that your relationships improve, you feel in control and happy, you like yourself more, and you are more likely to reach your life goals.
           Here’s a great list of practical how-to’s from Enhancing Children's Emotional Development In essence, it’s facilitating someone to handle their emotions by processing them together.
1.     Help the children gain an understanding of their feelings through the use of … interactive storytelling or role-plays.
2.     Teach children to identify and verbalize their feelings, as well as to read the emotional signals from other children and adults.
3.     Watch a child’s facial expressions, posture, play or art work for signs that a child is experiencing a strong negative emotion. Then offer constructive ways to defuse it…
4.     Accept emotional responses as legitimate, even if you don’t like the behavior the feeling produces.
5.     Communicate understanding and empathy by reflecting the observed emotion.
6.     Observe the child’s nonverbal behavior for clues as to how he or she is feeling.
7.     Avoid negative statements like, “Can’t you do anything right?” or “What’s your problem?”
8.     Avoid moralizing, humiliating, lecturing, denying, pitying, and rescuing. Instead, listen patiently and nod your head appropriately.
9.     Problem solve with the child by encouraging him or her to think of options and decide what constructive action to take.

10.  Keep lines of communication open.


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